Do you remember the posters of people you had on your bedroom walls as a child or teen? You looked up to those people, I would know as my bedroom walls are covered with posters of those who I admire greatly.For future generations to have posters of me on their bedroom walls, well that would be amazing. Something is holding me back from putting myself out there though, the way I look.
My earliest memory of knowing I looked different was in kindergarten. We were going on a school trip to a ranch, and some students chose to dress up in country outfits. I remember looking at a cute little girl wearing a country style dress and thinking I could never wear something like that. “It wouldn’t look good on me.” Now, how I got that idea in my head at such a young age I don’t know, I don’t remember ever being told I looked different(at that point), but somehow I just knew.
The bullying started soon after that, even by adults. In 1st grade my own brother’s doctor told him I was ugly. It was a one sided glass and I was trying to look through it (doctor and brother on other side). I guess the doctor must have told my brother that I was ugly and when my brother came out of the room he casually said “he said you were ugly” and walked away. One of many nights I wished to wake up and look beautiful. This was just the beginning of me being bullied and even harassed. As a freshman in high school a grown man driving by (at a slow pace) mock wolf whistled me, I could hear him an his friends laughing as they drove off. The bullying continued on all through high school. I even stopped going for a few months because I was tired of it. But my parents told me to go back and finish.
Now a graduate for 2 years. I have nothing to show for that time. Looking the way I do has held me back. The way I look has always held me back. Even in grade school, I turned down the chance to be the president of the student council because I didn’t want a room full of people looking at me. I never joined in any school activities or any electives that I wanted to be a part of. Choir, dance, theatre , I never had the courage to even write them down as an elective. Never joined any organizations or clubs of any kind. The way I look is also the reason I didn’t go out and live my dream.
My dream is to become a great all around entertainer(singer,dancer,actor,) as well as a director,entrepreneur,and a humanitarian. I want to make a big impact on people. I want to pack up my bags and head for LA but, looking the way I do now..i’m not even going to have a chance. One look at me and I will be shunned.
This is the part where you come in. Help me reach my dreams. You can do just that by donating. To help me get the looks that I need to succeed. Even if it’s a small amount it will help a lot. I thank you for even getting this far in reading this and to those who donated, you just might get something back one day ;). So make sure to leave me an e-mail for future contact.